Snakes on a Plane: Hype over matter served with extra cheese!
*Spoiler warning* Yeah... like I could spoil it further!
The title pretty much explains the movie. Okay, we have a plane. We have snakes. How the snakes get on the plane involves an inane plot thinner than Raveena Tandon’s chiffon saree in the rain!
11 Things I learnt about Snakes (and Planes):
- Snake-vision is green, twisted and totally wicked!! Even National Geographic never gave you this perspective!
- Non-poisonous snakes suddenly manufacture venom when on a plane in the sky.
- Snakes prefer traveling coach. They can’t seem to slither into first class.
- A ménage-a-trio with a snake might sound interestingly kinky. But it might end up leaving you green and full of pustules and o yes... dead!
- Look before you
leappee. Snakes lounge around in the toilet lavatories and your unmentionables could be snake-snack. - After a
- The rest of the snakes believe in equal opportunity. M/F/D/V/cat/dog
- Snakes like to coil up with the oxygen masks. Would you like some venom to go with that O2?
- You don’t have to worry too much about snake bites on the arm. They only cause popeye-arm-a-litis – easily taken care of by an earring and olive oil.
- Snakes can be destroyed by gun-shot, by electrocution, by blow-torch, by fire-extinguisher and by microwave. Uttering “who’s your daddy?” hasn’t proven as effective.
- X-box experience and a sense of humor is all you need to land a plane.
Romance: Samuel L. Jackson and Julianna Margulies in a steamy cockpit – discovering their common pyromaniac characteristics.
Suspense: Tracking down the multitude of anti-venoms for the rapidly dying passengers.
If only Mr. Jackson could tell the difference between greenish-blue snakes, bluish-green snakes and the ones that are colored teal, the search would’ve been so much faster!
Horror: Provided by pythons, rattle-snakes, cobras, gruesome looking dead bodies and Samuel Jackson’s kick-ass expressions.
Memorable dialogues:
“AAAAAAAHH”
“Help! Help!”
“Is he going to die?”
And of course, the mother of all dialogues –
“Enough is enough! I have had it with these ******-****in’ snakes on this ******-****in’ plane!”
Tear-jerking moments: Snake-bitten, Keith Dallas poignantly exclaims “My ass. My ass, man!”
The paramedics rushed to the scene just in time. *sigh of relief*
And don’t let the so-called banal dialogues mislead you. Get the Hubble Telescope. You just might discover the thrill factor!
My $0.02:
Go with rowdy friends capable of witty comments.
Fasten your seatbelts and take off with snakes of every breed known and digitally-designed.
If the movie gets to be too much to take... don’t fret. As the air-hostess would say – Exits are to the right and left of the theatre.
_
9 comments:
Wow this movie will surely sell :-)
:D you made me richer by $8 (I wouldnt have watched it anyways)
I would recommend Pixar/Disney's "Cars" that I saw yesterday.
@ wriju: it is selling!! on its way to being a cult hit!! go figure!!!
@ pavan: i thot i made u richer by $8.02.. u did take my 2 cents, din't u?
One look at the trailer and I knew there was no way anybody would drag me to watch it :)
hahahahahahha
needless to say..am in no hurry to watch the movie!
well there's 10 bucks saved for me... but guys u shud actually see this girl explain it... she does it even better..
@prashanth and persp: in my defence.. it was a rainy and utterly boring evening when i decided to watch it
@vithal: actually.. my acting was a lot better than the actors in the movie.. u owe me the $10.. :)
an addition, in the context of the eleven things you listed: (this concerns your point no. 5) my sister happens to be (studying) in gujarat, and one of the first truths/items of lore she was introduced to, was a gujarati pronounciation/redition of "snack" as "snake."
hence, "beta, snacks khaoge?" becomes/became "beta, snakes khaoge?"
hehe :-)
lol...what a review..
some movies should only be left to just reading reviews..
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