Blink! .. and its 2 years later! Marriage, moving and job searches have consumed my time more than I realized they did. And every time I return to this page wanting to embellish and exaggerate on the little events in my life as usual... a hungry husband, overflowing laundry baskets and impending project deadlines have beckoned me away.

This time however, the hubs managed to string some words together that completely tugged at the strings of my heart. Hopefully, I'll be inspired to spend more time here. As for now.. I'll let him have the stage -

Out of the ‘Nothing’, springs ‘something’ – The universe unfolds; Space fights the void; Gravity tugs; Gases coalesce; Atoms collide; Suns blaze, breathe the planets into existence; Inorganic turns organic; Proteins combine, they twist; Life blooms; It endures, it evolves; Nature selects; Consciousness awakens; Bipeds walk; Paths, they cross; I begin to comprehend, “you are my soul mate”; Love ensues; Two become one; And two years hence you read these words.

The universe seems to have taken so much trouble & beaten unimaginable odds to survive. For what reason, I cannot possibly conceive. But what I do know is that it has presented me these few fleeting moments with you. For which I feel incredibly lucky.

In the cosmic game of chance, I have won the ultimate ‘lottery’- You.

A very happy 2nd anniversary

Dearly Beloved

My S.O. finally found some time away from Star Wars spoofs and Marvel comics to ask me to marry him… and the wedding day is coming up pretty soon!

The wedding is expected to be very traditional including ceremonies that emphasize the alliance of the two families, hundreds of guests completely unknown to the bride and groom, and all the jasmine flowers available in Mumbai.

Planning a wedding (a traditional Tam-bram wedding + a few Mallu-isms, at that) to take place across the globe is quite a challenge. Things that I could have explained to my mom with some animated hand movements now require sketch artists previously dedicated to forensic court cases.

In spite of these disabilities, my parents and future in-laws have been doing a great job of putting things together; and my little sister (being the voice of the new generation) is having a great time bossing my folks around. The Kanjeevaram sarees have been bought, the accomodations have been booked and the invitations are on their way.

****************************************************

Top 10 Reasons I think this is the right time to get married:

1. My fiancé and I have graduated from appreciating sit-coms like 'That 70s show' to 'Frasier': a clear sign of maturity.

2. The wedding trip to India needed to be scheduled before airline prices become unbearably unaffordable. Especially since my fiancé doesn't swim.

3. We need to save our planet. Studies show that: One-person households are the biggest consumers of energy, land and household goods, such as washing machines, refrigerators, TVs and stereos, per capita.

4. Getting a room-mate is getting harder with all the other single women getting married.

5. I feel nagging skills budding inside me. If I don't use 'em, I might lose 'em. And saying "I told you so" to myself all the time is starting to suck.

6. The "buy 1 get 1 free" coupons have been piling up and will expire pretty soon.

7. My facebook/orkut profile is getting stale. I think a 'status' change can freshen it up.

8. I need new excuses to miss work, like:
8.1. Hubby has a rash all over, I need to scratch him
8.2. Hubby told me it was Saturday
8.3. Hubby drooled on my pillow last night and I caught pneumonia

9. If I lose my job in this economy, I can live off my hubby (guilt-free). Of course, I would spend my time praying that he gets to keep his.

10. Most importantly... I'm bored of minding my own business!

_

My Addiction

I can't fight it
However hard I try
There's a force
Unknown, uncelebrated

I decide to fight it
But then I succumb
I curse, I fume
I vow to amend

And not to despair
But as much as I try
I can't get my ass off this chair!

_

Bridezillas à la rhyme

Bridezilla: (Bride+Godzilla) A mutation found among women planning their own weddings, craving attention and becoming monstrously obnoxious, demanding or stressed out in the quest for 'their perfect dream weddings'.

There once was a bride – incredibly happy
Remarkably romantic and astoundingly sappy
Recited her 'perfect' fairy tale
Until it was tired and stale
Everyone around couldn't feel more crappy

There once was a bride – so whiney
Complained that her ring was too tiny
That her face wasn't fair
That the groom wasn't debonair
And that her hair was not suitably shiny

There once was a bride – loved to coordinate
Anything less would make her irate
Her nails, the décor, the band
If only the groom had followed plan
He would not be standing alone at the gate

There once was a bride – in despair
Hated anything she would ever wear
So, she over-stuffed her bra
And yelled hip hip hurrah
Alas, her dress couldn't help but tear

There once was a bride – a fitness freak
Worked very hard to tone her physique
But she went over-board
Until she was seen no more
So, the guests played hide-and-go-seek

There once was a bride – with grand dreams
Expenditure growing to the extreme
Splurged away to the last dime
To make it ‘the’ wedding of all time
Who needs 401(k)s or savings schemes


_

How low can you go?

It's one of those days - the clouds are gray... and my hair is bigger than the state of Rhode Island. Is that all it takes to turn my smile upside down, u ask. No, no, I reply. I can't really put my finger on it. (Not on my hair, the reason for my frown.)

It's how jobs and marriages take us so far that just getting together with gal pals requires a 5-year plan.
It's how agonizing the curve to proving our capabilities is and how easily some people b.s. through it.
It's what my life is meant for... to help save the environment?... or to come up with the best way to nap? (...which could be pretty world-changing).
Or it could very well be this hangnail I've been chewing at all morning!

It's people who walk by my office calling me 'smiley'.
It's people who don't leave their trash out on Fridays and stink up the place by Monday.
It's people who mercilessly drive over little creatures on the roads.
It's people who won't stop talking about gas prices.
It's people who can't stop complaining... o wait... that's me.

It's one of those days when I feel like leaving the majority of the money-making to my significant other and taking up a low-stress career: like baby-sitting. Why not? I love babies. And I love them even more when they sit.

It's just one of those days!
_

Un-common cents

With everything costing me an arm and a leg these days, my brain seems to be in financial overdrive – constantly adding up dollars and cents and drawing up comparative analyses to explain why cooking a potato subji for dinner is more financially sound than going out to get that roasted eggplant Panini with cheese. Also, I wouldn't want a ticket for driving back with just one arm and one leg.

I get a 'bargain-high' when I buy $200 worth of groceries to get a $5 Old Navy gift card or drive an extra 12 miles for gas that's 2 cents cheaper . And, I ogle at the points adding up on my frequent buyer programs. A little voice inside my head applauds me and I do a happy dance. The feeling takes me back to the days of haggling at Mumbai's Fashion Street where the thrill of getting the bargain transcended the disappointment of the clothes being a few sizes too big or the shoes whittling away at my ankles. It reminds me of the dizzy feeling of getting through the school inspection with long fingernails. (Yes, I am documenting this in case I need therapy)

I do digress, this story is about financial awareness. To meet this end , I had set up an elaborate Excel spreadsheet to document, categorize and grade my expenses and I had set up a much more elaborate presentation on why my seemingly improvident significant other should be doing the same. After several hundred sarcastic & pointed remarks, I got him to cave - only to find out that he has already reached financial moksha. His devilish indulgement in Saravana Bhavans and beer turned out to be completely harmless against my sporadic splurges at shoe sales and cosmetic counters.

On having realized this and being forced to eat crow (probably all I can afford right now... as he shops for a new car!), my poor penny-pincher brain has taken quite a blow. Could be another reason for therapy. Hence, my blog.

_

Happy Mother's Day :)

This is awesome!



P.S.
Why don’t you offer to help?
Learn to pick up after yourself!
This is a house and not a hotel!
Don’t walk away! Are you deaf?

How can you waste your food?
People will think that you are rude!
Be grateful for what you have!
There are hungry kids everywhere!

Why can’t you score as much as him?
Why play tennis? Why not swim?
Smile! Don’t always be so grim!
Your hair needs more than just a trim!

_

It's a 'knotty' world out there

The wedding season is upon us. Among all my high-school/college-mates, it's now a (much-too-often-repeated) question of 'when'. With all the knots being tied, I couldn't help but list the typical two-somes that I often come across.

The Vintage Pair: The high-school sweethearts or the college couplet who offer everyone they meet voluntary relationship counsel and attempt to 'cure' their single friends. When surrounded by multiple couples that fall under this category, the air is usually thick with competition accompanied by such long-drawn explanations about 'the right time to wed' that you wish you had powerpoint slides to get lost in.

The Matrimony Whammy: Before you can sing a line of "shaayad meri shaadi ka khayal…" (translation: maybe the thought of my wedding) they're uploading the honeymoon album on orkut. No mangani (engagement), fast byaah (wedding). This occurrence tends to leave the swiftly-hitched happily dazed. However, the whammy-fied friends are now extra alert not to be blind-sided again. Every nubile individual will notice a sharp rise in nosey orkut profile visitors.

The Not-so-Newlyweds: Having been married for almost half a dozen years, they now attempt to re-live their weddings vicariously through the new bakras. They set up a rendezvous of their single friends with other similar-statused individuals, narrate proposal stories of possibly-invented friends, fortuitously mention jewelry sales and furtively bet on which one of these new-born-alliances will be the first to the alter.

The AECDs: American Employed Completely-rushed Desis: The young professionals in America who are trying to conjure up vacation time in order to turn up jet-lagged for their wedding day in India. A large percentage of the arrangements are managed online and then out-sourced to parents and siblings. The two week trip includes shopping for outfits, a dozen pre- & post-wedding ceremonies and an occasional visa interview... and the 15 hr stop-over in Milan during the return flight counts as a honeymoon!

_

Spring Cleaning

I didn't lose my passion for words – just my laptop – in the maze that is my life.

I never throw anything away. Sentimentality is my excuse. But, when I found this laptop under a half eaten cheese sandwich, I realized that it's time for spring cleaning. Another very valid reason is the fact that my apartment had recently flooded (thanks to an over-zealous faucet in the apartment above me) and I consider floating cheese sandwiches a strict no-no when it comes to home décor.

Right when I thought I was re-modeling my life to fit a more grown-up lifestyle, I have to give up my cool bachelorette pad and move into a paying-guest accommodation. I have to admit, though, that moving into the afore-mentioned bachelorette pad was a result of 4 hours to house-hunt while driving around in a U-haul full of my stuff. People seem to insinuate that I should take this opportunity to re-evaluate my options… a tad less hurried.

Is this transitory move to smaller digs a good thing? I'll get to that soon. Once I'm done with pondering over the benefit of earning airline miles on my credit cards and the need for comprehensive insurance on my used car.

At the least, I am now left with no choice but to weed out over-used/useless/never-ever-used/maybe-I-can-find-a-use items from my life. Maybe I will finally experience the better life that is rumored to come with a reduction in clutter and take some time to finish my sandwich.

_

The guests that never go...

Thoughts after the holiday season… (all in good humor :D…)

We land in your locality
Perceiving your geniality
Igniting your hospitality
We walk in through your door

Permanently on our behinds
Appearing to forever dine
Guzzling up all your wine
You’d rather invite a wild boar

You overlook the extra chores
Excuse the thunderous snores
Create savory hors d'oeuvres
Doubting that this could be much more

Soon the ache for passive pleasures
Urges you onto desperate measures
You concede to us your little treasures
And hint on plans to move offshore

Nevertheless, days turn to night
And we develop into a perpetual sight
You take heart, but we don’t take flight
We are the guests that never go!

_

Home Improvement

Just when I have started feeling like I am living a decent life – more than 10 sq feet to call “my personal space”, enough hot water in the shower to wash all limbs in the same session and no more cabinets that remain un-opened for the horror of what the previous student left behind – it is time to pick my parents up from the airport and show off to them that their not-so-little girl is living the cushy life. And I am nothing short of proud of my new dwelling – an awe-inspiring closet (no more rationing of garments for lack of space), a sparkling bathroom all for my very self and added kitchen counter space to cook Maggi noodles in.

Obviously, my mom’s description of this Shangri-la as ‘a camping experience’ brought my smugness crashing down to earth. The repeated focus on the fact that I have exactly 4 plates and 4 mugs to consume food in didn’t help either.

So, I offered to show off my newly-acquired driving skills. Every sightseeing spot that can be covered within a weekend was listed and I bullied my folks into enjoying them in spite of the diminishing temperatures and sometimes hostile fall conditions.

My travel-loving parents exclaimed and acknowledged appropriately. My sister, on the other hand, wasn’t the least bit impressed by the Empire State building, or Lincoln Memorial, or any other rivers and mountains I showed her. As long as she got to eat waffles with maple syrup every morning using a fork and a knife and hit every single store in the mall until closing, she was content. The occasional trips to the car wash were also exceptionally well-received – who needs the Niagara Falls?

The week-days, while I was at work, were spent exploring every nook and cranny of my aforesaid apartment and making amusing observations of my lack of organizational skills. Inspired by several hours of watching HGtv, my apartment has been tastefully re-organized. Now that they have left, every time I need a pair of scissors it requires a phone-call half a globe away. However, I can’t complain that all my boxes of junk are now labeled and my freezer has enough food to last me all winter!

Every time I was reprimanded as a kid, I dreamt of a time far away that I would have an independent life, and I would mouth the words “as long as you’re under my roof – what I say goes.” Unbelievably mistaken, all I was left saying were varying versions of “Ok, Amma. Yes, Pa”. I’m always going to be their little girl. Well, frankly – I enjoyed being that way throughout the trip!

_

Neighbors Envy. I blog.

It was no surprise that the number 1 search on Yahoo this particular day was 'rotten neighbor'. Well, mine isn't rotten… but sure is decaying.

Starting a new life isn't easy... especially when getting a car and even a driver's license is still on the to-do list. So, obviously I have survived on several favors and owe far too many dinners. (Luckily, these are people who are just getting to know me and aren't quite aware of my culinary skills.) A few of the first people one usually gets to know are the good-ol'-neighbors and they should be the ones most available to help me out of my ditsy-blonde moments.

Alas, my good fortune… well… sucks! My new neighbor actually scurries out of my way as if I were the plague personified. And I could almost swear that I have seen her kids hold up their lunch boxes before their faces as they go by me. I have tried everything… smiles, grins, giggles… which have made her aware of my growing cavity. Forget about offering to drive me to the dentist, she doesn't even offer a smile.

Anyway, I continue living next door to the 'Invisibles'… and enjoying my new job. I had promised myself that I would give it my 200%. I was good for the last few months. But, now its time to blog.

_

Overwhelmed !

So much to do and so little time. Well there is time… but I’m just so overwhelmed that I’m not thinking straight. And considering all the work combined with all the “D’oh!” moments – makes the hours take wing!

We always pray and hope that life turns a new leaf and gives us everything we dreamed about. I dreamed. Dreamed big! And life is finally giving me all.. well, most of that now – but it didn’t just plunk in my lap. Instead, there was an impetus to my butt, leaving me no other choice but to go ahead with carrying out my responsibilities! At first, I couldn’t wait for all the administrative stuff to be over and to finally start on my career. Now that it has, I’m looking for the brake pedal!

There’s been so much to write about.
I could write about my American travels without a driver’s license (you’ll be astounded by the things you are subjected to on public transport);
I could express my trepidation of haunted hotels;
I could embellish my run-ins with HRs;
I could dive into the alphabet soup of industry acronyms!
But, like I said – so much to do and so little time. (Repeating that line just cost precious seconds)

It’s like a game show now – a new job, new city, new friends, new apartment, new furniture, visas, paperwork, driver’s license, and new car – all in a week’s time!! And did I neglect to mention its tax season!

I just hope my ‘life-lines’ are truly reliable!!


P.S. Looks like I also have to fix my blog!


_

Of hope, change and the future

Had a blast on New Years Eve! Went to the shore to drown my worries and returned high on a cocktail of hope and anticipation.

I finally got the coveted job offer and this new step in my professional career promises to be better than I had ever imagined. Having officially said good-bye to my old job, I have now been catapulted into day-dreaming of a new apartment, a new car and shopping for career outfits. And of course… the fun stuff - paper work, drug testing and immigration issues. What’s worse is that my mom has also landed in dream-world and calls me from across the world every few minutes to advise me on what kind of refrigerator to purchase. No, I am not complaining. I couldn’t have asked for a better beginning to the year.

I started the year with 2 movies – ‘The Butterfly Effect’ and ‘Children of Men’. Both of which revolve around future and change – working towards making things better in life and living in the anxiety that they might not.

The Butterfly Effect – born out of Chaos theory deals with Ashton Kutcher’s celluloid life where he has the power to change little details of his past. He tries over and over to aim these precise changes at making his life ‘normal’ and repeats his early 20s in an assortment of scenarios. If only he had tried as many times to improve his acting skills, I wouldn’t feel like I was watching re-runs of ‘That 70s Show’. Every life he lives only gets worse, teaching a meddler his lesson. A great point is made – albeit a little late. On the DVD – Don’t forget to watch the Director’s cut!

Children of Men displays a future when humans, plagued by infertility, have stopped procreating and the youngest human (a celebrity simply by virtue of his birth) is murdered. Riots break out in the world that’s already in a state of dystopia. Clive Owen is now in charge of protecting a recently discovered pregnant immigrant in fascist Britain. His performance moves you as his indifference meanders into belief and he hopes to see the silver lining among the smog-laden clouds. The attention to detail and the excellent cinematography will make you run for cover in a bullet-strewn world waiting to combust. As a story, it might leave a few questions unanswered. Approach it as a ‘cautionary tale’ and it will have you riveted.

Let’s hope it’s a happy new year and an optimistic future ahead! :)

Entry-level Insanity

After months of tailoring my resume, cover letters (and other quintessential career related writing) to carry all the appropriate 'key-words', 'action verbs', 'transferable job skills' (as if coming up with a list of regular skills wasn't stressful enough) and walking the thin line between high self-esteem and vanity; I've finally been getting the calls for interviews. It kinda sounds like getting an interview is my goal in life – but I assure you I have bigger things in mind!

I have gotten compliments on my confidence. But I think my desperate attempts at 'action-o-fying my verbs' to present the right 'working image' mask my nervousness. (Interview tip here people!). And I've been on so many interviews now that before my interviewer has even formed the question, I have started to babble on about how I analyzed, clarified, determined, evaluated, formulated, gathered, investigated, located, measured, organized, researched, solved, summarized and tested - and alphabetically at that! (At times I throw in 'beseeched', 'knelt' and 'wept' for good measure).

Also, I can never tell if my interview was good or bad. I guess the fact that no one has called with any rejects is good. Or maybe it was so bad that they're too busy laughing at me to call back!

Balancing all the interviewing (preparations, traveling, dressing up, going-to-the-loo-20-million-times-out-of-nervousness included) along with my current work definitely takes its toll on my 12-hour days (I don't have the time to change the fused light bulb in my room and I have no choice but to sleep when it's dark). And not to mention all the time I spend day-dreaming about the jobs, thinking of new answers to "So, how's the job search going?" and waiting indefinitely by the phone for call-backs!

How will I ever fit lackluster tasks like cooking and cleaning into my schedule? Thank god for my south-indian roots that I can enjoy eating curd and rice every single day and spare my neighbor's garbage bins. As for the cleaning, I count jumping over clothes and books and empty yogurt containers as my daily exercise. Also, I shower with my eyes closed 'cuz the walls in my bathroom are turning black from the mold and the mildew. If those walls could talk, I'm sure they'd rap! Anyway, if it isn't going on my resume, I'm not wasting my time doing it!

Life is a roller coaster

Life is a roller coaster!! One minute I'm up… and the next I come plummeting down to the ground at speeds deemed impossible by physicists.

I have always been thrilled at not knowing what's around the next corner. The thrill of not knowing what I'm gonna knock into - maybe a closed door, maybe a broom or maybe just fall into a bush with thorns for good measure. And I've had the same outlook for larger things in life – school courses, career, love-life, a larger bush.

In research experiments, I was always told – change one variable at a time. That's what makes the change easy to understand and control. But at this point in my life, suddenly EVERYTHING is changing and all of these aspects HAVE to work out just right. I'm taking all the tests at the same time - and this time around I didn't get any preparatory leave and no one's offering grace marks!

I claim to be busy. And, I am. But, I think my mind is busier than my brain. I analyze, brood, dream, repent, anticipate and blame myself. When I'm done with that, I find someone else to blame.

Be brave is what they say. Remain Seated. Keep arms and legs inside the car at all times. And that's what I'm gonna do. Hoping that patience and perseverance are in for the ride too!

Dating a Star Wars fan

Warning: Requires a certain quantity of familiarity with the Star Wars 4, 5 & 6. If it’s just entirely perplexing – I hope you’ll see my point and empathize.

• Dinner dates often include McDonald’s happy meals in order to collect the Star Wars figurines.

• When you ask him to pass the salt, he closes his eyes, breathes deeply, and tries to 'force pull' it across the table.

• Don’t order food that’s too spicy. There might be a great disturbance in the Force.

• Watching the sunset is often accompanied by him humming the Imperial March.
  

• Every casual conversation has comparisons drawn to Star Wars.

• ROTJ, ROTS are commonly used abbreviations. Educate yourself.

• You are often referred to as Commander and Master and are always complimented as “Impressive. Very Impressive”

• He takes you watch the trilogies and the spin-offs and nit-picks more than George Lucas ever could.

• He takes you to Toys “R” Us to shop for his baby nephew. But, actually buys the Star Wars toys for himself.

• He opens automatic doors for you by waving his hand and claims to use the force. Well, at least chivalry isn’t dead.

• Planning long trips often have references to ‘a galaxy far, far away...’

• Let him know if you’re having an asthma attack. He might think you’re being Darth Vader.

• Every magazine you own is rolled up and used as a light saber.

• He’d love it if you wore cinnamon buns on the sides of your head

• He ends every date with “May the Force be with you.” And yeah - Don’t underestimate the Force!

• When you say “I love you”, he replies “I know”. (Harrison Ford has ruined this for me!!)

• If you don’t know the POWER of the dark side – Pretend.

_

Haze

The rain falls in tender drops -
The ones that barely show
As if the clouds can't commit
To holding back or letting flow

Tulips look up in disdain
Petals in partial bloom
Judging the worth of the wait
Doubting a vision will ever loom

Will it remain an endless pause
To estimate and to assess
Will it lure a full-grown storm
Or continue to be nothingness

Oft I walk these gloomy streets
In the misty cold
Hosting suspicions
Not knowing what is to unfold

_

Mummies and Blogthings

Deadlines lurk. I'm now an Egyptian Mummy i.e. I'm pressed for time!

Also a Blogthing says:

You are both very knowledgeable and creative.
You tend to be full of new ideas and potential - big potential.
Ideas like yours could change the world, if you build them.
As long as you don't stop working on your dreams, you'll get there.

So, I now need to focus these creative writings of mine towards some knowledgable reports, portfolios and business correspondence. And hope that people other than those at blogthings also notice my big potential and world-changing ideas!

Of course, amidst all the work if my pen decided to pour out a poem... I'll be right here to share it. But, these would have to be few and far-between. Also, my beta-blogger doesn't behave all the time and doesn't like me commenting on other non-beta blogs - biting a large chunk of pleasure right out of blogging!

Need to get back to working on my dreams and my sense of humor (refer egyptian mummy comment above). Let's hope I get there - wherever there might be - very soon!

_

Snakes on a Plane

Snakes on a Plane: Hype over matter served with extra cheese!

*Spoiler warning* Yeah... like I could spoil it further!

The title pretty much explains the movie. Okay, we have a plane. We have snakes. How the snakes get on the plane involves an inane plot thinner than Raveena Tandon’s chiffon saree in the rain!

11 Things I learnt about Snakes (and Planes):

1. Snake-vision is green, twisted and totally wicked!! Even National Geographic never gave you this perspective!
2. Non-poisonous snakes suddenly manufacture venom when on a plane in the sky.
3. Snakes prefer traveling coach. They can’t seem to slither into first class.
4. A ménage-a-trio with a snake might sound interestingly kinky. But it might end up leaving you green and full of pustules and o yes... dead!
5. Look before you leap pee. Snakes lounge around in the toilet lavatories and your unmentionables could be snake-snack.
6. After a Chihuahua as an appetizer, pythons prefer swallowing sarcastic bald men for main-course. Can't help it if you're balding... I’d suggest working on your personality before confronting pythons.
7. The rest of the snakes believe in equal opportunity. M/F/D/V/cat/dog
8. Snakes like to coil up with the oxygen masks. Would you like some venom to go with that O₂?
9. You don’t have to worry too much about snake bites on the arm. They only cause popeye-arm-a-litis – easily taken care of by an earring and olive oil.
10. Snakes can be destroyed by gun-shot, by electrocution, by blow-torch, by fire-extinguisher and by microwave. Uttering “who’s your daddy?” hasn’t proven as effective.
11. X-box experience and a sense of humor is all you need to land a plane.

Apart from its highly educational matter (as mentioned above)... there is everything the movie-lover craves –

Romance: Samuel L. Jackson and Julianna Margulies in a steamy cockpit – discovering their common pyromaniac characteristics.

Suspense: Tracking down the multitude of anti-venoms for the rapidly dying passengers.
If only Mr. Jackson could tell the difference between greenish-blue snakes, bluish-green snakes and the ones that are colored teal, the search would’ve been so much faster!

Horror: Provided by pythons, rattle-snakes, cobras, gruesome looking dead bodies and Samuel Jackson’s kick-ass expressions.

Memorable dialogues:
“AAAAAAAHH”
“Help! Help!”
“Is he going to die?”

And of course, the mother of all dialogues –
“Enough is enough! I have had it with these ******-****in’ snakes on this ******-****in’ plane!”

Tear-jerking moments: Snake-bitten, Keith Dallas poignantly exclaims “My ass. My ass, man!”
The paramedics rushed to the scene just in time. *sigh of relief*

Thrills: Snakes attack. People scream. Repeat. Repeat again. And again.
And don’t let the so-called banal dialogues mislead you. Get the Hubble Telescope. You just might discover the thrill factor!

My $0.02:

Go with rowdy friends capable of witty comments.
Fasten your seatbelts and take off with snakes of every breed known and digitally-designed.
If the movie gets to be too much to take... don’t fret. As the air-hostess would say – Exits are to the right and left of the theatre.

_