My Addiction

I can't fight it
However hard I try
There's a force
Unknown, uncelebrated

I decide to fight it
But then I succumb
I curse, I fume
I vow to amend

And not to despair
But as much as I try
I can't get my ass off this chair!

_

Bridezillas à la rhyme

Bridezilla: (Bride+Godzilla) A mutation found among women planning their own weddings, craving attention and becoming monstrously obnoxious, demanding or stressed out in the quest for 'their perfect dream weddings'.

There once was a bride – incredibly happy
Remarkably romantic and astoundingly sappy
Recited her 'perfect' fairy tale
Until it was tired and stale
Everyone around couldn't feel more crappy

There once was a bride – so whiney
Complained that her ring was too tiny
That her face wasn't fair
That the groom wasn't debonair
And that her hair was not suitably shiny

There once was a bride – loved to coordinate
Anything less would make her irate
Her nails, the décor, the band
If only the groom had followed plan
He would not be standing alone at the gate

There once was a bride – in despair
Hated anything she would ever wear
So, she over-stuffed her bra
And yelled hip hip hurrah
Alas, her dress couldn't help but tear

There once was a bride – a fitness freak
Worked very hard to tone her physique
But she went over-board
Until she was seen no more
So, the guests played hide-and-go-seek

There once was a bride – with grand dreams
Expenditure growing to the extreme
Splurged away to the last dime
To make it ‘the’ wedding of all time
Who needs 401(k)s or savings schemes


_

How low can you go?

It's one of those days - the clouds are gray... and my hair is bigger than the state of Rhode Island. Is that all it takes to turn my smile upside down, u ask. No, no, I reply. I can't really put my finger on it. (Not on my hair, the reason for my frown.)

It's how jobs and marriages take us so far that just getting together with gal pals requires a 5-year plan.
It's how agonizing the curve to proving our capabilities is and how easily some people b.s. through it.
It's what my life is meant for... to help save the environment?... or to come up with the best way to nap? (...which could be pretty world-changing).
Or it could very well be this hangnail I've been chewing at all morning!

It's people who walk by my office calling me 'smiley'.
It's people who don't leave their trash out on Fridays and stink up the place by Monday.
It's people who mercilessly drive over little creatures on the roads.
It's people who won't stop talking about gas prices.
It's people who can't stop complaining... o wait... that's me.

It's one of those days when I feel like leaving the majority of the money-making to my significant other and taking up a low-stress career: like baby-sitting. Why not? I love babies. And I love them even more when they sit.

It's just one of those days!
_